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Sunday, June 11, 2006

im feelin rather guilty now.
i read pris's blog.
i felt like..breakin down..
i didnt noe how much she is goin thru.
i didnt noe tt her self esteem is so low.
i didnt noe she despise herself so much.
i didnt noe she is goin thru so much pain.
im sorri pris.
i am nt dere for u when ure down.
i did promise to be by ur side.
but im sorri.
im one of the worrys in ur mind.
i let u down.
i failed to be by ur fren.
but i do trust in u.
tt u wil change.
no more screamin okie?
n rmb our promise?
nt to cry for dem anymore?
if u or i wanna cry,
lets cry together!
im sorri pris...

todae..i woke up at ard 1230.
i went to mit sand at orchard.
at around 245..
sorri snady kiwi,
im veri late arrx.hahas..
in the mrt,i saw one couple.
with two child.n e man's mum.
den e man seems so lovin..
as in his a good father.
den he look so nerd in carryin the bag.
for the children.
the toddlers are ard 3 to 4 yrs old.
both of them.oh well.the father's sandals
look too small for him..his leg oversize it.
but den..they may look poor..
but its obvious tt the do lead a happi life.
though they are poor,as long as there are happiness,
who would mind?familys usually are the one hu stay by
each other side.ive learnt the mistake.
tt we shld cherish our family.
dey are important ppl in our lifes.
hopefully xiner noes tt though her family despise her,
but still,deep down dey dun mean anything.
dey do care for her.afterall,her family loves her.
yupp.i wish i can tell tis to myself too.
nvmx den.i dun have a daddy,still got mummy rite?
father's dae is approachin..but i dunno wad to get for him.
hmmm ermx..oh well..i tink i wil jux ..cry if i see him lo.
wad a sad ting rite?but,joanna muz be strong.
daddy wont be able to see the upset side of me.no one wuld=].

i mit sand den i go shoppin with her.
we first find it so borin lahhs.
but den after tt,we do enjoy.hahas.
we tok abt alot of stuffs lah.
is like we go out together,
usually tok.but den tis time we tok abt DIFFERENT PPL=]
hahas i do enjoy alot.i like those ppl lah.
reali like dem alot lo.haiiss..
i reali like those ppl who looks like animation.
i bring sand to follow me to see dem.
wherever dey go.
i n her can jux seat in long john(with memories)
jux to see dem lah..hahas..dey look so punk la!=]
but their dressin cost around 500plus total bahs i guess.
dey are like so damn cool.
den sand rite.she so stupid lah.
ahahs.she almost drop my ice cream.but i mange to hold onto it lo.
end up my whole hand was filled with triple chocolates.
hahas thanks arrx sandy kiwi=]

hahas..ermx den we went down to redhill..
i was like so lost..sarah sae wad got spotlight..
hahas i dun even see any spotlight lah.
got lah but is like stadium.den inside is soccer.
hahas den we realise tt we are lost.
but i walk n walk den i saw renee.
hahas den i am like so happi loah.
cuzshe will give me direction to the t-net etc loh.
hmmm ermx den after tt we went dere.
i went up a block to smoke den i saw esther score for our sch team..
den i was like so happi.keep on jumin here n dere lahhahas..
ermx den after tt...i was tokin to janelle,
esther fell down infront of me lo!
i hate the no14 lah!
stupid!make her fall..i scream la!
den sand was like so shock.hahas..
den i was rather..worried for her.
sandy kiwi step on dog shit.hahas so funny lah!
den esther dey all lose.hmmm alright.

den after tt..shld i sae tt im angry or worried?
im veri angry with esther...tt she dunno how to take care of herself.
angry tt she noes her leg is injuried yet stil wan to go on court.
angry tt she dunno how to stop playin when her leg hurts la.
but overall i realise tt im more worried.
worried tt her leg is causin much pain in her.
but ermx..im worried as a fren bahs i guess.
den after tt im so worried tt ..sand shld noe.
i keep on irritatin her lah..hmmm..when i noe sand is sad too.
oh well..den renee run to the mrt station jux to take train with me n sand.
den after tt,hmmm ermx..esther reply me lah.so i stop at bedok.
den took train back to lavender.
at there..a train cum..esther called me to run in.
so me n sand juz run in loh.we look back den we realise
tt my silly renee rite..she stil sit dere.
wen she realise we run in,the train oreadi close door le.
so me n sand was feelin veri guilty lah.
den we call her sae mit at aljunied.
esther n her frens so funny..kip lookin at e left side.
when me n sand was standin at the right side.
den sand saw her *ahem.haha she so hapi lo.
frn esther noe i wan pass her sth..
so i jux pass her 0dollars20cents.tts all i have.
except for my 5cents.hope is enough for her cab fare.
i see the wae she is in pain..my heart jux brk..how i wish i can
carry her home instead.oh well..i care as a frens tt why lo.
expected her to msg me but in the end nvr loh.
so yupp tts all for todae.
hopefully..tml wil be a beta dae for me bahs.
im goin to jan's hse.

nowadaes i realise..im reali happily with u by my side.
thanks for cheerin me up when im sad.
i have been leadin a happily life nowadaes.
i simply need u in my life.
i love u lots .
1259am
12june06.

hurts gonna end now.
u shld be happi tt im over u.
its over so,goodbye.
245am.

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
9:50 AM

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joanna_
miserable life_
280691_
fourteen_
lonely foreva_
nvr trust in lurve_
coded twenty8_
percussionist_

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its a messy life=[

ilovesweetie!
the drum stick
shootin starrs
supermario!
lollipop
the band room!

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nvr trust this

lurve
empty promisers
my close frens
gettin hurt by yew*
eva to fall in lurve
family members
nt to cry anymore for yew*
i stop myself for lurvin yew*
i cant pull thru this hardship
i dun need love anymore=[
i cant make myself trust bungs anymore
i dun wan to love,but its al beyond my control

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you're the one i lurfe

SUPERMARIO
2/4~
God.
ex 2/4^
PERCUSSION BAND!
E315=]
N303=]

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ive regretted

not cherishin yew+
not tellin yew how much i nid yew+
for lying to yew+
cumin into tis wurl with imperfection+
for hurtin myself+
for having the scar on my body which cant be remove anymore+
for knowing yew+
for not cherishin 2/4 2005
i regret not tellin u how much i mis u

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songs that brin back the past

a song,i wan to composed for u n me!=[
wo xiang dui ni shuo,wo ai ni
wo mei you yong qi zai ai ni

mummy germaine
dearest janelle
sweet shirley
kuku wendy
pig tan!
SWEETIE MAryAnn!
baobei Esther
sweetheart sand
nuer geraldine
precious vanjill
cutie hafizah
insane gwen
yeoyeo!=]
meimei sher
another half yuting
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